Lost for Words

Remember a Day

Last weekend I got to show some of the new friends I met this year around my former playground. It was great to show my new friends what my old life was like at Notre Dame (where I went to college, and where I ruled the school).

I get sad every time I go back to visit campus. I visit way too often, and I think I am going to start crying every time I see that golden dome. I am one of those annoying people who idealizes college. In my mind, I was never unhappy, never stressed, never bored, never up all night studying, never hungover.

I know none of this is true, so I'm going to challenge myself. I've decided to stop looking at my old photos of me in ridiculous costumes, stop thinking to myself in the middle of the day: "If this was last year, what would I be doing right now?" (9 times out of 10 it would be sleeping or watching Gilmore Girls), and also I will  stop referring to those I know who graduated this year as juniors (in my head, me and my friends will always be seniors, so everyone a year below me is forever a junior, I know it's obnoxious).

So from now on, well for at least a few days, I will focus on what I don't miss about college rather than what I miss. Here are the few things I came up with:

• I do not miss when you would run into someone on campus that you do not want to see. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there were many times when I pretended not to see someone, or went completely out of my way to avoid someone. You don't have to worry about this when you live in Chicago, you're not supposed to make eye contact.
• I do not miss when you go to the dining hall alone, and are completely happy going to eat by yourself, and then someone you only kind of know, insists that you join them. I'm sure I'm guilty of doing this to someone else, plenty of times. But when I'm okay with being by myself, I think everyone else should be too.
• I do not miss the awkwardness of not knowing how to address professors. "Professor ____" sounds too wizardy, "Dr. _____" could offend those without a PhD, Mr. or Mrs. is just not what you do, and calling them by their first names always made me giggle.
• I do not miss those kids in class who drive you crazy. Sometimes, there would be a kid in class that I just didn't click with. I didn't know them, I didn't like them, I didn't dislike them, but we just never agreed on anything in class during discussion. They always raised their hand right after I said something. They always disagreed with me. It was really awkward to see them at bars. I don't miss them.
• I do not miss trying to understand football. I'm smart, but I have wikipedia'd "Football" too many times to count, and I still don't get it. I probably never will, I can live with that. I loved going to games and getting tossed in the air when we got touch downs. But I cannot stand a dude in blue and gold face paint and beer breath trying to explain to me what makes special teams special.

But I miss everything else.

Dogs

I'd like to take a moment to talk about rap music.

In case anyone was wondering, the months I spent pretending that I was a dog (aka thinking that I was a dog) were inspired by the Snoop Dogg video for "What's My Name?" I remember watching this video when I was really young, and my brother convinced me that there were actual humans that had the power to turn into dogs and that Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr was one of those humans. If you are unfamiliar with the video I suggest you check it out:

  

Now, rap and myself haven't had the smoothest relationship. It breaks my heart to admit this now, but there was a time when I was unable to admit that I enjoyed it. Five years of attending all girls school gave me two very important things: a love for arguing equality of the sexes, and a love for shaking my booty. These two loves were in conflict when it came to rap, though it was completely in tandem with one of my loves, rap music tended to clash with the other. Then I turned 21 and was allowed into South Bend's Club Fever on Thursday nights. Love was all I had to give.

Some key points:

• Is this guy for real?
• I'm so happy Snoop and Wiz Khalifa exist for each other's sake. Match made in heaven.
• RIP M-Bone, you taught us well. What a tragic story.

Mother

Hope everyone called their moms yesterday! I know I am a day late on the mother's day themed post, but it's never too late to say, I love you, Mom.

This weekend I broke the news to my mom that I've decided to start sharing my thoughts with my friends over the internet. She said she wanted to read my blog too, but made me promise not to give her the address unless I knew for certain that knowing she was reading wouldn't "stifle my creativity." She also gave me free reign to blog about her!

That's just the type of mom I have: an awesome one. She's always allowed me to be an individual and has always encouraged me to be creative. If it weren't for her, I would not blog today. Here a few of the unusual things my mom let me do that made me become the random girl I am today:

She let me choose my clothes before I could even physically dress myself. She kept my clothes on a bottom shelf and I would pick them out myself and give them to her to put on me. All I ever wore were baggy sweatpants and tight t-shirts that showed off my gut. Not even my shoes matched (See picture in my first post).

She let me pretend to be a dog for a few months, and let me eat off the floor. When I was about 4 years old, I pretended to be a dog 24/7. My name was White-Eye and I ate my dinner on the floor. My mom even put dog treats and toys in my stocking that Christmas. The only rule was that  I couldn't lick my sisters.

She let me drop out of pre-school. It just wasn't my thing.

When I was four years old, I didn't want to turn five, but I still wanted a birthday party. So my mom let me turn four years old again, and we just had another fourth birthday party. Why not?

And that was only my life before age 5...

Love you, Mom!

Her holding me 23 years ago today (its my bday btw). I'll never be that tan again...

A Great Day for Freedom

So I hear Osama bin Laden died. Now, I don't really know what this is going to mean for terrorism, the country, the world, etc. I don't really know how to feel or react, but what I do know is that there is now an open spot on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list!!!!

Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I am strangely knowledgeable about the Ten Most Wanted List. I don't know if I really think that I'm just going to leave my apartment one day, recognize one of them, somehow lead to their direct arrest and then get $1 million dollars, but for some reason I am fascinated.

So while I wait in anticipation for who will be the next person on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list, I give you my own list of my Ten Most Wanted.

ERF's Ten Most Wanted:

Mr. Big

1. Mr. Big
His Crime: Being a crappy boyfriend. Giving girls every where false hope..... Aidan was perfect.
Reward: ERF is offering a reward of up to $1 million dollars for information leading to this guy getting slapped.

2. The boy, girl, solo cup, or pillow that gave me mono Junior year.
His Crime: Ruining a perfectly good spring break trip to Mexico.
Reward: Hugs and kisses

3. The Bed Intruder
His Crime: climbin in your windows, snatchin your people up.
Reward: You don't have to come and confess. We're lookin for you. 
We gon find you. We gon find you.

Dustin Diamond

4. Dustin Diamond
His Crime: being disgusting. I can't believe I almost wanted to buy his how-to chess DVD.
Reward: ERF is offering a reward of up to $500,000 dollars for information leading to him never appearing on film/Tv again.


5. Any of the fathers on Teen Mom
Their Crime: Do I even have to explain?
Reward: ERF is offering a reward of up to $1 million dollars for information leading to any of these guys getting slapped.


6. Jenks from World of Jenks
His Crime: Being gorgeous. Why is there no season 2?
Reward: Let's hang out?

7. Pete Carroll
His Crime: Being gorgeous. Being Evil.
Reward: ERF is offering a reward of up to $5 million dollars for a picture of Pete Carroll in a giant Notre Dame sweatshirt.


8. Criss Angel
His Crime: Seriously, where did that Elephant go? How does he do what he does. I can't handle it. I'm still not over it.
Reward: ERF is offering a reward of $1 millions dollars for information leading to levitation.

9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8r45usSKXg

10. Chad Kroeger
His Crime: I don't want to talk about.
Reward: Someday, I'll find a way for you to make it up to me.